The Lama: kind of like a weird looking horse in need of neck lift surgery – Camel type thing. I find this animal fascinating. Anything that looks like that and can pull of a decent hair-do deserves respect in my book.
But not everybody thinks so, of course, no. Some people have it in for Lamas in a big way. “They spit, the devils!” people scream. “They’re vicious!” they exclaim. Well I ask you, have you ever seen a vicious Lama? And wouldn’t you spit from time to time if everyone pointed at you and laughed? I think you would.
So I took it upon myself to test the theory out. I went to a Lama sanctuary to confront these awful un-true stereotypes. To clear the Lama’s good name once and for all!
It was a bright July day. I was standing about 500 metres from the Lamas, a kind-looking bunch, who weren’t saying or doing a lot, but I didn’t doubt had to be extremely hot under that dense coat of hair.
I approached with caution, watching their faces. This was pointless, of course, seeing as Lamas, like most creatures, are about at good at facial expressions as Dale Winton is at looking macho.
At the gate I beckoned the biggest one over, the one I’d already started calling ‘Big Red’. I could have beckoned the smallest one, but I thought If I am going to do this properly then I need to go the whole hog!
He came to me, smiling, and I patted him on the head. He seemed to like it, and I didn’t doubt for a second that if he’d have been able to lift his hoof as high as my head, he’d have done the same.
That was when he spat in my face.
The moral of this story? Always choose a smaller creature when testing such theories out, and never tell anyone you got spat on, because it really changes peoples perception of you.
